When I started this post, there were a few directions I saw it going. Perhaps I could talk about honesty, or something I read recently that was loosely related, even gender and sex.
But no. Tonight I’m going to settle some shit, because I’m getting really tired of certain people and their bullshit.
Hi, Trump supporters! Hello conservatives, hello opposition to the Women’s March, hello those who turn a blind eye to Trump’s rhetoric and ideology, claiming it won’t be so bad and we just have to wait and see — apparently you’re also ignorant of history. Hello to those who don’t care because it doesn’t affect them, to those who are ignorant of what’s really going on and what’s at stake in America currently.
America is a shitshow if I’ve ever seen one. (And I’ve seen a lot of shitshows go down.) We gave a toddler throwing a temper tantrum an entire country to settle him down, and this toddler then picked the worst people he could to fulfill various positions (it’s like it was intentional), we have women tearing down the women fighting for their rights, the National Park Service is suddenly a badass(?), scientists aren’t allowed to talk anymore, Trump supporters flip shit if you talk shit about their president and conveniently forget their less-than-friendly reactions to Obama, and basically we’ve taken ten steps backward (at least) while simultaneously making a leap toward a dictatorship (maybe we needed a running start).
Before I get into this anymore, let me give you what this post started as:
Take a look at all these, all posted by the same woman. Woman.
Except I’m going to discuss them one by one. I’ll let you know when her posts end.
Before I knew I’d be blogging tonight, and about this, I vented to my mom over email because the stupid was too much.
“[I]t amazes me how many anti-women (and pro-Trump) women there are on Facebook..Yesterday [this woman, that my mom and I both know] posted a picture complaining about women protesting for reproductive rights when women in other countries undergo genital mutilation and wouldn’t be allowed to speak out…First of all, just because other women don’t have all the freedoms we do means we shouldn’t fight to keep and expand our rights? That’s just dumbass reasoning. Men make more money, but women in other countries can’t even have jobs, so let’s not fight for equal pay. That’s how asinine that is.”
That’s basically my point here. Is it like one or the other — we can help them, or us, but not both? Somehow I doubt that — and I also doubt that American women would choose to help foreign women over themselves.
The thing is, people (women) who post things like this aren’t concerned about the oppressed women in other countries. They don’t care if those women are clothed, fed, housed, treated equally. They’re just annoyed that these damn liberals are protesting their new
dictator leader Trump. They’re annoyed that women dare speak out against…what, again? Equal rights for women? Yes, how heinous.
We’re not an embarrassment (well, electing Trump wasn’t exactly our best moment); we’re (kind of) a beacon for what life could be (you know, not perfect, but better — like your fantasies about that average-looking guy from work who listens to listens to NPR and enjoys crosswords; he’s better than your boring boyfriend who mostly plays video games and ignores you).
That was a lot of parentheses.
Also I’m sure you’d be “screaming” about your sexual health if men actually made a decision that negatively affected it. Sorry you’re past having kids. Maybe we’ll make pap screens illegal then? Vibrators, too. Condoms also. Only missionary from here on out. Let’s criminalize anything that has to do with sex — you’ll end up crying sooner or later.
Sorry, I asked Dave for his opinion on this woman’s posts and I’m infuriated. Stay tuned.
To my mom: “[O]ne was of various scantily clad female celebrities and said something like ‘these are the women opposing Trump.'”
“Yet another was more celebrities and ‘If you think Trump is going to degrade women, you must be a special kind of stupid’ or some such thing. In the comments she defended his ‘Grab ’em by the pussy’ bit because it was ‘locker room talk’ so many years ago.”
I’m sorry, she said it actually happened in a locker room. No, it was defended as “locker room talk.” Let’s get it right. (That mistake there should undermine any “credibility” she had — and I use that word very loosely.)
Let me quote the rest of this email to my mom: “I was astounded at the stupidity. And using women’s clothing (or stage acts) against them to say they can’t be upset by the treatment of women by society or men (like Trump) smacks of the argument that a woman ‘deserved’ rape or was asking for it because of what she was wearing. Like she was wearing a short skirt, what did you expect? These women are dancing provocatively; clearly Trump is not the problem because they’re asking for that attention. Perhaps it’s a stretch, but Trump can be the problem AND women falling just short of having sex on stage can be a problem.
Also, if Obama had said those things the world would’ve exploded or something. It’s not okay just because it was a long time ago or was said in secret. That’s a scary attitude to have; if I want something, I can just take it. Hm, sounds like rape to me. Sorry, I can’t believe the stupidity and ignorance of some people, especially women against other women for fighting for rights for all of us…?”
This wasn’t one I talked about in the email to my mom, but here:
I’m angry, some of my hair is purple, but I’m not dressed like a vagina. YOU’RE A FUCKING WOMAN HOW ARE YOU THIS IGNORANT. I don’t fucking get it and it fucking hurts. Like it actually hurts my brain.
Why are we judging on hair color now? Shall we also judge on tattoos (I know this woman prides herself on her many tattoos)?
It’s not even human dignity, but human rights. Believe me, I don’t like abortion, but like it’s her body and her choice. I’d never choose it for myself, and if my friend asked, I’d advise against it — but dammit, it’s our choice. No ovaries or uterus, no choice.
Let me post one more thing by this woman (for now):
Lol. Nah brah. You want to degrade the women with purple hair marching for your rights? Then fuck you, you’re a fat ugly bitch whose so fucked in the head that I can’t even begin to comprehend it. Fucking lose some weight, stop getting tattoos, put on some make up and be what our society wants you to — since you, like society, want outspoken women for women’s right silenced. Fuck you. You’re not beautiful the way you are. Ignorance and hate are ugly as fuck. You’re an infected pimple on the ass of America. That is you.
Don’t cry about it. That’s for those liberal bitches.
(I follow no particular party, so don’t start calling me a liberal or socialist or any bullshit. I like whoever’s not a fucking idiot. Maybe the more scientific choice.)
A few more things before I get to my angriest part.
Yeah, right-wing asshats, imagine that. Imagine how horrible and unAmerican she’d be.
I had a post that showed the posters from Obama’s election, but Facebook mysteriously deleted my post as well as my source post…
I am going to save this so that in four years I can compare and see how much worse things have gotten. Also these things are coming off of Obama’s presidency, so really we can attribute them to him, not Trump, assclowns.
Oh, here’s this:
Anyway, I showed Dave the first four pictures, the ones from my acquaintance, and his first reaction as “That’s bullshit.” I was pleasantly surprised. I’d thought he might actually come through for me on this one.
Then he continued:
“Oh but a lot of women were just there for the hell of it. (After my irritated response): Oh, you’re one of THOSE women. Women have high paying jobs and have many equal rights (I pointed out that we have very few rights secured by the constitution). Women can parade all they want, but women in other countries have less rights. Women are dressing up as vaginas? Geez. Those women didn’t even clean up after themselves. (I said we want equal rights and so men can clean up after us.) Oh, you’re one of them. If women want equal rights then they can clean up after themselves. You’re one of those stupid bitches who needs to be put in her place then shot. Actually, shot then put in her place. This whole march was all because bitches want abortions. That’s what the fight is about.”
I told him if he ever wants to have sex with me again then he can buy condoms.
He basically said we’re not having sex then. Fine; we’re going to pretend like I don’t have my pills. Then maybe he’ll realize why women’s rights are important and why they need to be protected.
Anyway, this actually infuriates me. Bloody fucking hell.
And of course, I’ll be the bitch in all of this, when I refuse sex without condoms and when I refuse sex, because, oh yeah, you give zero shits about me or my health or rights.
I’m the bitch when I’ve been the breadwinner for over two months, paying his rent for him, buying (and preparing) his food out of the kindness of my heart…fuck that shit.
He can ask one of his beloved friends for money.
Since spewing this bullshit, Dave keeps trying to be friendly, like nothing should be wrong.
Yeah, nothing…except you ignore or just don’t care about my experience or rights as a woman. I told my mom in that email that I might have to break up with him. Like how do you be with someone who treats your issues as a minor annoyance, like a mosquito bite when really they’re kind of a staph infection. Like that shit needs to be taken care of. (I’ve had MRSA, so I would know.)
But once again, I’ll be the bitch for being upset about what he said and the dumb cunt for being one of those women who support equal rights for women (and everyone, obviously). Well, he was the ignorant dumbass son of a bitch, so…I’ll gladly take it. I’m not in the wrong.
Okay, now you’re all caught up. So with all that setting the tone, it’s time we set some things straight.
I’m going full floofen.
First, basic things.
Women Don’t Have Equal Rights
I put Dave’s comments above on Facebook…and received much support and outrage. I hoped Dave would see. I wanted him to realize what an ass he sounded like (perhaps “ass” is too mild a word), I wanted him to see people other than myself getting angry over it (so I’m not just one bitch bitching), and I wanted to see whether he’d bitch at me to take it down (to which I would’ve replied that he could be an adult and stand by what he said) or not say anything — which was the case. There was no mention of it. I take this as meaning he knew it was wrong and didn’t even want any mention of it made.
He even said over text the next day — well, let me show you:
He also tried to blame the presentation of issues by the media and that everything is “being shown the wrong way,” but I countered that this was an excuse to defend Trump and ignore issues.
Anyway, later that night we got into a rather heated political debate (although I was political and he was personal) that inspired the rest of this post. During this “debate,” one of the many things he said was that women have equal rights.
We do not.
He insisted that women get jobs, are in positions of power, and can do and be anything they want — therefore, equal rights.
That’s not the same thing.
Women are not legally protected by the Constitution like men. We’ve been trying to change this for a while with the Equal Rights Amendment, but it’s still a no-go. For more info see this: Wait, Women Don’t Have Equal Rights in the United States? It’s actually kind of a disconcerting thought: I don’t have equal rights in my own country?
Having constitutional protection is not the same as being able to get jobs — good jobs — or being “in power” (in both the Congress and Senate, women only hold about 20% of the seats — contrary to what Dave thinks; see http://www.cawp.rutgers.edu/current-numbers) or “doing anything we want.” He pointed out that being a woman didn’t keep me out of RPI.
Please don’t pretend that as an ignorant white male you understand the complexities of women’s (or anyone’s) issues in America.
Oh and he made the argument, in regard to the ERA, that we haven’t amended the Constitution in a long time (like many decades ago). I don’t know why this is an argument against getting it passed (or even an argument as to why it hasn’t been passed), but actually we added the 27th Amendment in 1992, the year he was born.
But I’m going to leave that there.
Take away point: women do not have equal rights, don’t talk about an issue if you’re ignorant, and certainly don’t pretend to understand it.
The Difference Between Discussion, Disagreement, Debate, and Argument
People really struggle with this one. It’s like when my brother used to say to my mom, “Stop yelling” or Dave to me, “Stop getting so upset, relax, no need to get angry…”
Talking loudly, or even at a normal tone is not yelling, even if someone is chastising you, saying something you don’t like, or insulting you.
If you don’t see the souls of the damned burning behind the hellfire in my eyes, I am not angry. If I’m not yelling at you, I’m relaxed. If I’m not talking to you, no need to tell me to calm down. I’m not even reacting, much less raising my voice. If I’m not showing any sign of being upset but am merely objecting to something you said (likely because of its sheer stupidity), don’t tell me to stop getting so upset.
Maybe they do this so we think we’re overreacting and back off. I don’t know.
But if I’m upset, I’m sure you’ll know. If I’m angry, there’s no way you won’t know.
So now for discussion, disagreement, debates, and arguments. I like to say that it take two to argue. For the sake of argument (ha, punny) I’ll say it takes two to debate.
I mean, the voices in my head debate and argue, so I suppose that counts as one? That’s another issue though. (I’m not even kidding about that.)
So if I merely disagree with something you say, you can let it slide or make into something more.
If you choose to make it into something more, it all depends on the amount of offense the participants take and the nature of the conversation. It’s about the respect, I suppose.
A discussion involves mutual respect and minimal offense. It’s more feeling each other out on an issue. You agree to disagree. To use dating as an example, this would be on a first date.
Disagreement sets in when someone tells you you’re wrong. Like they’re no longer playing nice. They’re being real. It doesn’t have to turn into a thing, but they’re making a point that their opinion differs from yours. This is cool if it’s on whether to listen to yodeling or metal or what truck make is better, but may become a barrier with bigger issues. For now you put your differences aside though. Maybe this happens a few dates in.
A debate gets more heated. There’s more at stake. You want to present the better argument to sway the other person. You’re respectful, but aren’t about to roll over, thereby giving up your position, either. This is perhaps best once you’re a couple. You’re more confident in your views of each other and aren’t afraid to let your passion show. (Though certainly not all debates are between acquaintances.)
An argument is when respect leaves and you’re out for blood. You’re right and they’re wrong and you don’t care to hear it any other way. Arguments are generally not constructive (usually it’s the reconciliation that is, in my experience). You’re not just headstrong, but determined to win. Personal attacks and judgments not related to the matter at hand may/probably will find their way in.
Are we clear now?
Take home point: discussions, disagreements, debates, and arguments are different things, and they differ based on the heat and the respect.
Oh also, opinions are a different beast and will be addressed later. Actually there are lots of directions this could go in, but I’ll talk about this instead:
There Are Problems in this Country
Also, Trump is not going to make America great again. If anything, he’s going to make it tear itself apart from the inside out.
If you’re one of the people who thinks everything is fine and Trump will only make things better, this post is meant precisely for you.
Not that any of you will read it unless I title it “What I have to say to dirty liberal socialists.” (Indeed I did do something close to this.)
He’s gotten rid of healthcare for many, decided to tax imports from Mexico to pay for the wall (read that carefully), decided to continue the pipeline projects (to export Canadian oil to China — explain that one to me), has moved to silence anyone who says anything contrary to his beliefs, has cut a bunch of government jobs (the hiring freeze), withdrew from the Trans-Pacific Partnership and signed to cut funding to women’s health services in other countries (http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/donald-trump-s-first-six-days-office-here-s-what-n712086). Just to name a few things.
I think literally only rich white males are unaffected by any of these.
I’m not saying some of these problems didn’t exist under Obama, but Trump sure as hell isn’t going to help and I have a strong (not unsubstantiated) feeling he’s going to make things worse. But Trump supporters act like Trump is a Godsend when I’m pretty sure he’s more the spawn of Satan.
But I do take solace in the fact that so many Trump supporters are actually going to get fucked by Trump and/or eventually realize that they got taken for a ride (see my next point).
It’s like some computer game where you’re put in charge and obviously you have no experience and just start doing shit because it sounds fun or cool or something and it doesn’t really matter what the long term consequences are because it’s just a game.
Except, oh yeah, it’s our country.
This is directed toward people like Dave who insist Trump hasn’t done anything so far, won’t do anything, and we should just give it time and wait and see.
At this rate, I don’t think we can afford to.
Perhaps one of the biggest problems is this:
Memes aside though, we really are in bad shape.
Take home point: Stop pretending everything is fine. It’s not.
Trump Voters Were Used
One of the best things I’ve seen since the election is some smug Trump voter going on about how Obamacare is finally being repealed and how he’ll be fine because he’s covered by the ACA. He insisted for a quite a while that they were different things…then presumably realized his massive error because he dropped off the internet.
And now Trump wants to tax imports from Mexico to pay for that wall everyone wanted so much…so we end up paying for it.
And now we’re continuing those pipelines…I just read that the Iowa pipeline has just leaked 140,000 gallons of diesel. Yep, solid plan Trumpy.
The sad part is that we’re all equally fucked and more than half of us didn’t even want this. The almost-half that did are now whining about it.
I could harp on this forever, but here are pictures instead.
‘Cause dem conservatives love to post old pictures of democrats with now evil foreign leaders.
That last one is my favorite. The Donald knew what he was doing; the voters had no idea.
Take Home Point: Y’all fucked up, and we can’t (easily) change it now. Thanks.
And lastly for the basics…
You Need to Have (Real) Facts
For anyone who was even remotely unclear on this, there is no such thing as an alternative fact. “Alternative facts” are known by most reasonably intelligent people (so I guess understandably not the Trump administration) as bullshit, horseshit, false, not accurate, not true, not valid in a debate…
Dave tried to tell me that his sources and my sources are different, so we can disagree on the facts.
Um, no, facts are facts, and bias doesn’t change the actual facts. Intelligent people can think critically about what’s being presented to them and see through the bias to the actual facts (or lack thereof).
I think he really just didn’t want to have to justify his version of the facts to me. Because I know better, and he knows that.
But this point isn’t even really about so-called alternative facts.
My problem discussing, debating, or even arguing with Dave is that he has no facts. He mindlessly parrots everything he reads or hears without any thought going into it, nor can he later cite anything he says. Even if I can’t think of a source off the top of my head (there’s a lot going on in there), I can look it up and verify what I said.
Dave, oddly enough, seems to be all about emotion and sensationalism and — which I’ll get to — personal attacks. His “arguments” are more whining about me contesting his point (or completely deconstructing it) and then insulting me…like this is unfair.
No, he’s welcome to do it to me. He can absolutely tell me why I’m wrong…but he can’t. Because I have facts and he has nothing. Then I’m the bad guy for tearing him apart and always having to be right.
No, it just happens to be that I’m always right, because I can back up my statements.
So if you’re going to get all up at arms because I disagree with you or if you try to tell me why you’re right and I’m wrong, you better have facts to back it up. Even if no resolution is reached, I’ll respect your argument.
Take home point: Bring the facts or don’t come at all.
Not Everything Can be Trusted
I kind of already went over this, but it’s worth going over again because the majority of America isn’t good at critical thinking.
All news sources are not equal.
Some people might read that and believe Plato actually said it, missing that it’s from Contrived Platitudes and failing to see the sarcasm or check out the page (where they’d see it’s sarcasm).
Some people might actually be wooed by this. But Trump is still running his businesses (into the ground, apparently; he leases his name to many places for the fame but isn’t allowed to make decisions because he’s fucked up so many times); he had more money to spend on his campaign than Dave and I (and our unlikely hypothetical children) will have in our lifetimes, he gave many (the majority, judging by the popular vote) deep anxiety about the future, while humiliating a disabled reporter and after having insulted Obama for years (you know, the birth certificate BS — which is probably the only reason I even knew who Trump was) and who attacked Muslims and liberals mercilessly, who’s been on record as being cool with sexual assault — and I doubt any of that was lies, because he loves to tweet so much…
I read Dave that picture and my response, hoping he might redeem himself, but he said it doesn’t fucking matter because there’s always two sides and it’s this way with any person. So he won’t confirm or deny, which usually means that he agrees with the worse option — the pro-Trump one.
Oh now Dave is complaining he doesn’t consent to being quoted. Well I can just, ahem, quote him by the dick and guys love that. He’ll let me do whatever I want because I’m a blogger.
Right? That’s how it works?
Anyway, you can’t believe everything you read or see. There is certainly bias — or, these days, people might not be allowed to say what they want.
I don’t even know what more to say about this. Take home point: just consider that it might not be the full truth, then search for the full truth.
The Past Does Matter
Somehow Dave and I got talking about the whole pussy-grabbing bit from Trump. He insisted that this was the past and it couldn’t be used against him now.
“What if you ran for president one day and years ago you said something racist on Facebook? Could they use that against you?”
I replied with an emphatic yes.
My lab partner today got talking about how it’ll be interesting to see politics when our generation is grown and if our past social media activity will be a factor in elections.
Yes. It will be.
I maintain that anything you say, you’re responsible for. You don’t get a free pass because it was so many years ago or you were younger. Sure, people can have changes of heart (as a grade-to-middleschooler, I thought gay marriage was bad — though I barely had any idea of what “gay” even was; I was vehemently against premarital sex and cohabitation, I was against drinking, and I used to be afraid of people with tattoos and piercings), but let’s be pessimists and assume that people ultimately don’t change — especially on certain issues, especially once they’re an adult.
And this seems especially relevant to an attitude of “If I want it, I can take it” or “I can do anything I want — especially if I’m a celebrity.” Dave can argue that it was long ago, but having that rapist attitude at any time should be a red flag.
I asked Dave’s opinion on whether this attitude was fine and he said I can’t just let anything go and that people, men, women, people all over the world say worse shit and to just stop.
I asked whether this meant it was just fine overall. He said I’m fucking going after him because I can and it’s getting old. Fucking stop. Stop putting anything he says in here.
Um, no. Again, if he can say it, he can stand by it.
Especially because he knows I was raped and yet will defend talk like this. That’s a deep and personal insult beyond the general insult that someone finds Trump’s talk okay.
I think this election is what finally proved to me that Dave and I don’t belong together. So thanks, Trump, for that one thing.
Fuck, at this point I’ll be so annoyingly political that I make Dave miserable (he already complained that I’m one of those feminists I hate so much — shit, I’m arguing for my own rights and that makes me a bad guy?).
Anyway, the past does matter, much to Dave’s chagrin. Things you say and do don’t just go away (a consistent argument for the two-plus years Dave and I have been together).
And let’s zoom out to a larger picture than an individual’s past. Like let’s take a look at history…
And I’ll throw this one in for shits and giggles:
I’m sure many of us wondered how anyone ever let leaders like Hitler, Mussolini, or Lenin or Stalin rise to power. At least, those of us that opposed Trump did.
I watched a debate unfold (where else, on Facebook) about that fascism picture, posted by the first commenter below. The second commenter posted a 14-point deconstruction of it and why it’s not happening in America (especially focused on the fact that no one has been denied rights, particularly on the immigration freeze). Both did not vote for Trump, and both are intelligent people. I followed the whole thing and honestly agreed with each in some way.
I identify with the second commenter, who realized the facts weren’t quite straight, tried to present them objectively, and was irritated when someone just butted heads instead of discussing (though I wouldn’t have used the phrase “people like you” if I was trying to avoid argument).
Yet I get the first commenter (and poster) as well: while straight facts might not point to anything being wrong, he can tell something is not right here. Do immigrants (trying to get in) or people on visas have rights in the US? Not technically, because they’re not citizens. But surely it’s not right when a grad student can’t leave to visit family or go to a conference because she won’t be let back in. And then it’s so frustrating when people tell us to calm down when we know everything isn’t okay and they tell us that technically it’s not this way or that hasn’t yet happened. I understand being so exasperated when trying to get someone to understand that things are very wrong that you lose your shit and go the name-calling, sarcastic, insulting route. It’s not very becoming, no, but neither is stupidity.
Anyway, those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it, right? I think we’d do better to be a bit more wary of what’s going on. “It could never happen again, right?”
Oh I also heard today that Pence honored some white guy to kick off Black History Month and conservatives wants Jews removed from a Holocaust memorial because “other people died too.” As the post put it, they “all lives mattered” the Holocaust (http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/28/politics/white-house-holocaust-memorial-day/ — Dave didn’t believe me because “CNN is against Trump”…this is the kind of stupid I mean).
Take home point: The past matters and you can’t just do whatever the fuck you want and expect it not to matter later; also, history is actually kind of important. Like a lot.
Don’t Get Upset Just Because I Disagree with You
Once again Dave will be an example (again, inspired by that one argument but based on many arguments).
If I dare disagree with him (and these days, there’s little we agree on), he immediately goes on the defensive and starts firing out insults.
Like I’m going to disagree anyway, so what you think of my job or mom doesn’t affect that. But he immediately takes it to argument mode and makes it way bigger than it has to be — then blames me for making everything an argument and he can’t even have a conversation with me about these things…like he can with his friends.
Lots of things here. No reason to get hyper offended unless you know you’re dead wrong. I merely expressed a contrary opinion — you made it an argument. We can have a conversation, except you’re incapable. You can’t discuss anything without getting offended and your arguments are all unrelated and personal. And of course you prefer talking with your friends, all people who share your beliefs. How exciting and enriching.
Dissonance isn’t the end of the world, but how you treat it can be, at least for a relationship.
I can’t have an intelligent conversation or a satisfying debate with Dave. So I outsource to other people — and then Dave bitches that I’m talking to other people (including guys).
I have many points to make on this one point, though, so let me move on.
Take home point: Don’t take disagreement personally unless you want an argument. You’ll likely get one. Also don’t make it personal.
Don’t Reply to Disagreement or Debate with Personal Attacks
Unless you want an argument. If so, I’ll gladly let loose — but I don’t think you want that.
The other night I disagreed with Dave’s politics. I disagreed with his view of the Women’s March and even challenged his views on Trump’s perfection. Obviously I came armed with sources and facts.
He replied by telling me that my job had been handed to me, that I was only saving money because my mom was giving me money, that I have my mom’s opinion on men — that they’re to be hated and not to be trusted, that if his mom did to him what my mom did to me he’d disown her, that I’m a feminist even though I hate feminism, and so on.
I’d be saving money even without my mom’s contribution — and she’s helping me out because she put me $30,000 in debt before I even knew what a credit score was and I wouldn’t be living with Dave if she were still here — and my mom even said she doesn’t hate men and neither do I — just some are shitty. Dave doesn’t have the the balls to disown his mom and he hasn’t been through what I have, so he can’t tell me what to feel and what he would supposedly feel doesn’t matter. I can want equal rights without being a feminist.
You know, if women had equal rights then a woman president wouldn’t be a big deal.
Oh, but Dave likes to point out that Hillary is crooked and a criminal. I’ll bet he saw that on Facebook. What does he know about her, really? She’s unfit to be president but a reality TV star is fit? Trump isn’t a politician — I guess that means we should elect a scientist next (please)?
Basically he voted for Trump because he wasn’t Hillary, but that vote had lots of other implications.
Oh and Trump’s non-politician past should excuse his “locker room” talk. Yeah. Bullshit.
Anyway, to try to stay focused here (unlike some people), ad hominem attacks are not an appropriate response to someone contesting a statement you made. It just shows that you’re insecure in your argument — that you don’t really have an argument. You can’t back up what you said, so instead you get offended that someone would even dare question you. Instead of defending yourself, you puff up to try to make yourself look bigger and scarier than you are and rely on intimidation until the threat passes.
Take home point: If you’re going to have a debate or even a discussion, have constructive responses that actually advance the conversation, not fifth-grade level retorts and nose thumbing.
Get Over Your Snowflake Syndrome
This was posted by a Trump supporter intended to put down liberals, but I think Trump people can’t handle the truth either.
Conservatives love to attack liberals for being sensitive and being snowflakes who are offended by everything and need safe spaces.
Guys, I’m Catholic, so if I don’t know hypocrisy when I see it then I’m failing at life. This is hypocrisy at its finest.
But that’s a separate point.
For how much they whine about people being hyper-sensitive, conservatives are the balls of society; the slightest flick and they experience seemingly excruciating pain. Like seriously, it’s like the tiniest criticism of Trump or their politics and they blow up like you fucked their sister and mother, called their wife a fat ugly whore, kicked their puppy, made their kids cry and punched them in the face unprovoked.
Conservative reactions, therefore, can be a lot of fun.
And then I found this:
I’m not saying that liberals aren’t sensitive nor that the younger ones don’t think they’re all special and important. But conservatives are just as bad because they also can’t take criticism and they make fun of liberals for the same thing.
Dave is obviously the first example that comes to mind. As I said above, if I make any point that’s contrary to what he wants to believe, he freaks out and gets angry with me like I’ve personally insulted him…when he’s the one who says politics don’t define who we are as people (except they do kind of reflect our values).
But then he also complains about liberals “like me” who cry about everything. The other day I was annoyed with him over something unrelated to politics and he came home and said, well, liberals like me were still crying about Trump winning and not Hillary. Like what does that have to do with anything?
You don’t get to bitch about liberals whining when you do a hell of a lot of it yourself.
I need to pause this here or else I’ll lump three points into one.
Take home point: Get over yourself. You’re not untouchable. Stop being so easily offended.
People Are Allowed to Mock You
Continuing in this same vein…this one is dedicated to Trump, though, who’s had more than enough Twitter meltdowns because someone poked fun at him (with good reason — thanks Alec Baldwin); to Trump, who’s seemingly set out to shut down any organization or person who contradicts what he says (or what he wants to believe).
I suppose it’s also for conservatives and Trump supporters on social media, who’s fragile world comes crashing down if someone mocks them or points out their fallacy (which is, of course, humorous to the anti-Trump people).
Aw, somebody didn’t like Ivanka so the conservatives got their nose out of joint. I’m sure Nordstrom will miss your business…
For people who are so into the second amendment, you’d think conservatives might also be familiar with the first amendment (I asked Dave if he could name five, and he admitted he couldn’t).
Coincidentally(?), for people who tout freedom of speech, you’d think they’d get it — and also know the first amendment.
Also you’d think they might find issue with rather than applaud Trump’s
statement tweet that anyone burning should be jailed or at least have their citizenship revoked. In another post (not yet published) I talked about how burning the flag is protected as free speech (This Is Why It’s Legal to Burn the American Flag if you don’t believe me). So Trump wanted to take away free speech.
Which he seems to be doing in other forms anyway, but still…
Free speech includes mockery. If you can say something offensive and claim it’s freedom of speech, then I can make fun of you for your stupidity and it’s still free speech. People (conservatives) really seem to struggle with this.
I read something recently where an anti-vaxxer mother wanted to take legal action against a professor who “humiliated” her because she didn’t take her uneducated, anti-science bullshit.
Take home point: Nowhere does it say that people aren’t allowed to mock stupidity and ignorance — so people are allowed to mock you and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.
What Hypocrisy Is
Because people don’t seem to get it.
Dictionary.com defines a hypocrite as: “noun 1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. 2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.”
Basically, if you say/believe one thing but do another, or if you condemn others for saying/doing/believing something but say/do/believe it yourself.
Conservatives seem to struggle with this. I’ve provided examples above but a fresh one is always fun.
Dave, again, has complained ad nauseum about Clinton supporters complaining about and protesting Trump’s election, signing petitions and desperately trying to change what happened. Dave’s friends feel the same way he does.
Then Cuomo managed to pass a law that makes it so that window tint causes you to fail inspection. Dave and his friends started bitching, signed petitions to repeal it, and are desperately trying to find ways around this law — including paying for tint in January after an inspection, then paying to have it peeled off and reapplied before and after their next inspection.
I’ve pointed this hypocrisy out to Dave numerous times — except he insists that this is far less important than an election, and I point out that yes, an election is far more important, yet he and his friends care more about pretending to be badasses than sentencing our country to eternal damnation.
Do you see the hypocrisy here? They’re doing exactly what liberals, Hillary-supporters and anti-Trump people did, but it’s okay because it’s for window tint, not the presidential election.
If I ever needed proof that Dave and his friends are stupid…
Take home point: Lots of people, called conservatives, are hypocrites and are not to be trusted or believed when it comes to policy issues.
If You Can’t be Supportive, Shut the Fuck Up
Oh, you’re so pissed off by the protesters that you need to protest them protesting (very likely for something that impacts you)? Do the world a favor and just shut the fuck up.
How have men solved issues for centuries? Fucking war. I can only think of a handful of peaceful protesters (Rosa Parks, MLK, and Ghandi come to mind), but I can name a shit ton of wars waged because someone was irked by someone else’s rule. Because of men.
So if women want to be violent, while it’s not best, don’t act like this is a new evil. Or, conversely, we have women criticizing the US Women’s March for bragging about being nonviolent (interesting how one side says it was violent and the other says it wasn’t) because women in other countries don’t even get to protest, much less peacefully.
I’m pretty sure US women bragged about being peaceful by US standards, not global standards.
Like really, we’re going to criticize women for protesting our rights because women in other countries have it worse, and then even object to the fact that we called our protests peaceful because other countries wouldn’t be able to do so peacefully?
People are making an effort to make change. Appreciate that instead of critiquing their methods.
Take home point: Support a cause or shut up; your negativity isn’t needed.
Don’t Contradict Yourself or Make it a No-Win Situation
The other night Dave told me that if I was so upset about women’s issues I should go out and protest rather than complain to him (though I was complaining to him because clearly he’s ignorant and I wanted to educate him).
But he also told me that the protesters were stupid, demonizing them and criticizing me if I agreed with them.
Which totally makes sense, right?
My mind is like a filing cabinet. A really well organized one. So when you say something, I go through and compare it to all of my files. I rifle through everything to see if there are inconsistencies or contradictions. It’s not always instant (there are a lot of files in there — but I usually do pretty well), but this constant background fact-checking lets me call people out on lies or bullshit.
I do this all the time to Dave and he hates it. For example, in our political argument he told me that I got handed my job and my mom is handing me money and he’s said plenty of times that I don’t have to work for my money and I get paid to sit on my ass.
The other day we were talking about how my mom now wants to give my brother extra money (she already gives him enough to cover his expenses) because he’s going to be about $1400 short for his tuition — yet he’s always bragging about how he makes so much money and has so much saved. Dave said something like “But at least you work for your money.” I don’t remember exactly what he said, nor why he was making this point exactly, but he did say I work for my money. I asked him to repeat it that night and he told me to shut up a few times and then grudgingly repeated it. I asked him just now to reiterate what he said and he wouldn’t because he didn’t want it going in here and I had to ruin a “good thing” (him watching a movie) because I had to open my mouth.
The more defensive and pissed he gets, the more right I am about whatever is in question.
He’s told me that he’s confident in himself and happy the way he is and he wants to prove he didn’t need college, and then that he’s insecure because he didn’t go to college and I’m smarter than him. He complains about his friends and landscaping and then praises and talks up both. He wants to get married and talks about it all the time, then he’s not concerned with labels and I’m thinking about it too much. He has the money for a ring but isn’t proposing because we’re arguing, then we’re getting along but he doesn’t have the money. He bitches about me being a smartass, but then tells me he actually likes it about me.
This isn’t limited to Dave though. My grandfather once “knew” I got a letter from my mom because the mailman said he was “sorry,” so clearly the mailman saw the return address on my mom’s letter to me and knew my mom lived next door to my grandparents and had to express his condolences to them? A bit suspicious.
Papa checked my mail before I got home.
Oh, here’s a quote from my writing (an email to Mom) on another example: “I was stressed out about going downstairs today. Maybe it was intuition. Papa emerged and sat down at the table and said he needed to have a ‘brief, unpleasant conversation’ with me. Of course. On your birthday. Early in the morning. He told me I could go get my breakfast and sit down if I wanted. I declined. He said he ‘very reluctantly’ let me take Cumulonimbus [my bunny] with me when I moved. He said I had agreed to keep him clean and he had only been cleaned once so far that he knew of, and that Gramma had asked me to clean him and my room. (She never asked me to clean my room.) And I have cleaned my room many, many times. Papa said he was up here looking for my ring [that I’d lost days ago and already looked for with him] and he had to know what the smell was, so he went in my room and saw flies and that Cumulonimbus hadn’t been cleaned and that my room was a mess. He said he wasn’t asking, he was telling me to get it cleaned — and not sometime in the future, but now. Like today. I said while I’m staying here I’d like to think my room is my space and I’d like my privacy respected. He said it’s been well-respected but it’s his house and he won’t have it destroyed. Then he left. I sat through breakfast trying not to cry, my hands shaking so bad I couldn’t hold my spoon, and as soon as I got to my room I broke down crying. I am feeling sick, and for some time I thought I might throw up. This is not about being asked to keep my room clean. I am sure you understand this. This is about how now I feel like cutting myself…I can’t take it here anymore. I feel like cleaning my room and Cumulonimbus, and telling him, ‘My room is clean, the rabbit is clean, and I am moving out.’ Keep it direct and simple. I have finally, truly reached my breaking point. I don’t know why, but it’s been worse for about a week now, and it has come to a head today. I have to leave. If I have to stay here any longer (that is, without the intent of moving out before December), I don’t know how I will make it. I hate my life and myself so much. Please, be honest — but I hope you’ll tell me to get out because I hate it here and can’t do this anymore.”
I don’t intend to get derailed talking about my grandparents. But this experience was scarring for reasons I can’t quite describe and indeed it was the day I decided I was moving out — and I did, less than a month later.
The point here is that Papa didn’t need to go into my room because of any smell. There was no smell in the hallway. (Also why should it matter if my bedroom isn’t clean? It’s not like people were ever in there — except my grandparents to investigate…) Papa made that up because he was going into my room to check up on things.
I had proof that they were going into my room as I was packing to move out. I’d leave my boots or a water bottle behind the door; if I was the next one to open the door, I’d have to move them. I rarely moved them — they were already pushed out of the way. Once my closet door was open when I’d left it closed.
I’m not stupid. Dave thinks he can buy new tires and hubcaps (after telling me he was saving up for a ring) and I won’t notice — or find the receipt chilling in his truck. He thinks I won’t notice the new tailights he put in, or the receipt for his early inspection so he can “outsmart” that window tint law, or that he can give me conflicting accounts of what he did while I was gone and I won’t notice. You can’t slip shit by me. I can smell when he’s been over to other peoples’ houses because his beard smells like his friend’s vaping or woodsmoke.
Take home point (before this becomes a post of its own): don’t try to lie or twist facts. Don’t contradict yourself or make it so I’m wrong no matter what I do. I will sniff out your bullshit no problem.
Put Your Damn Ego Away
My grandmother said that Trump’s ego is a huge problem, and indeed it is, hence the Twitter meltdowns. Trump seems to operate as though he has something to prove and anyone who opposes him, even casually on social media, is a real threat to his image. No, not really. He’s a billionaire “celebrity” (I mean, it’s reality TV — our whole country’s future is now reality TV for the rest of the world: “Countdown to America’s Implosion”) who somehow found his way to be president. The fact that he lets relatively low-level opinions piss him off so much means that he’s insecure (and probably knows they have a point — see above).
But this is a general issue — people don’t want to be wrong. They don’t want to be questioned or contradicted. On some level I get this, but like, if you argue only in the interest of your ego it’s going to get annoying, fast. Nobody cares about your ego but you. If you argue from an inflated ego, people are going to hate you, also fast.
In science, we give our papers to others to review and expect that they’ll critique them. I think that’s pretty standard in academia overall. As much as it hurts our egos, we want feedback and criticism so we can be better. Another reason we need a scientist as president.
If you think you can’t be wrong because of ego issues, then you’re going to be, at best, annoying as fuck, and, at worst, a horrible and dictatorial leader. Just saying.
I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Trump comes for my blog.
You know what, even if you don’t want to admit it to me that I’m right and you’re wrong (Dave), then I hope you at least admit it to yourself.
But like really, be an adult and set your ego aside and have a real conversation, even debate with someone. When someone disagrees with you it’s not necessarily personal. Really it doesn’t get personal until you’re having an argument.
Sometimes entertaining contrasting views can open up your eyes and you’re thankful for the new information.
Take home point: I know your ego is important, but give it a damn rest. You might even learn something.
I Can Tell You You’re Wrong as Long as I’m Nice?
Dave actually told me during our argument that, if I’m nice about it, I can tell him he’s wrong, no problem.
Though he also told me that if I tell him I’m wrong (nicely) that he’ll just nod and smile — which isn’t what I want. I want a discussion and an actual acknowledgement that I have a point and am maybe actually right.
Still, for someone who says tone doesn’t matter (when he says things), often he takes into account my tone when I say things. (More contradiction for you.)
Anyway, Dave can be a dick to me for hours (or days) and if I get upset then I’m too sensitive. But if I make one dickish comment then he gets all bent out of shape.
Then again, I often tell him I mean what I say, when he often insists that he means almost nothing he says.
Still, this concept seems dumb. Do you mean you want me to respectfully tell you you’re wrong? Then respect me. Also, either way you’re wrong, so maybe put your ego away and deal with the fact that you’re wrong.
After Dave said this, now I like to smile and say in an upbeat voice that he’s being stupid. It’s like dogs, right? If I say it nicely they wag their tail, and if I say it harshly they look like they’re guilty?
Take home point: this is someone’s way of saying they’re too much of a bitch and you need to go easier on them because…just because.
Tearing People Apart
Dave likes to whine that I “tear him apart for everything.”
When really all I’m doing is telling him he’s wrong or telling him why and how he’s wrong.
So this goes closely with the last point.
It’s not my fault that he’s wrong so much, or that he doesn’t have an argument, or that my argument is better, or that I have no tolerance for stupidity…
Maybe this one is redundant, so I’ll keep it brief — here’s the take home point: I can tell you you’re wrong as often as I want. If you have no argument as to why you’re right, you’re wrong. I don’t have to tell you nicely. I’m not being mean or tearing you apart. I’m being honest.
I’m Being Honest, Not Mean
Dave also likes to tell me I’m being mean, and I often reply, “I’m not being mean, just being honest.” Or he tells me something I said hurts, and I say, “The truth hurts.”
It’s funny, though; the truth only hurts if the receiver of the truth bomb realizes on some level that it is the truth and they’re wrong — or they’re willing to accept what you have to say. If you tell a staunch anti-vaxxer that vaccines are safe and show them the evidence, it won’t hurt them because they’re so convinced they’re right and I’m a shill. But if I tell Dave his backrubs suck and he replies that this hurts his feelings, then he’s acknowledging I may have a point, and my point got to him.
So if someone says you’re being mean, you reached them, whether they’ll admit it or not.
Note: mean is not the same as ignorant, stupid, biased, etc. You don’t call somebody mean because they’re being ignorant of what should be obvious. I’ve never called a Trump-supporter mean — lots of other things, but not mean.
Getting away from politics for a moment, that above quote is dead-on-balls accurate in every facet of life.
I may have mentioned this (I’ll find out upon revision, if I ever get to it), but my nature is to be no-bullshit, straightforward, up front. I may tone it down if I feel it’s absolutely necessary, like when breaking up with a guy or something where emotional sensitivity is required, but I have precisely zero patience for bullshit and drama. I stay away from “friends” who cause or have too much drama, and when Dave’s friends get going with BS or drama and he doesn’t see it, I point it out to him unflinchingly (like how his friends don’t care to talk to him unless it’s an emergency, and even then he’s a back-up because someone else wasn’t available).
If you want, I’ll tell you exactly what I think. In fact, with my “friends” (like, my friends who seem to have time for everyone but me and only text me in times of crisis), I’ve decided to be honest. Like, “Yeah, you’re in this position because you kept fucking that guy you knew was bad news” or “If your fiance is such a dick then why are you marrying him?”
I’ve just stopped caring who I offend. If I find someone worth my time, I’ll take care to mince words more. Or I’ll communicate it, but not so bluntly.
And I suppose real friends will appreciate my candor.
Rest assured, if I have an issue with you, I’ll voice it somehow. If I like you, it’s genuine.
There are always select people I think of when writing things like that, and I hope they know who they are.
Anyway, I think someone who tells the truth unabashedly is a good thing. While many things about my brother irk me, I do appreciate his blunt honesty. He’s not going to spare my feelings…which makes those moments where he’s emotional with me even more valuable. I know he loves me and is there for me, no matter how much we butt heads (and I’ve bailed his ass out and helped him many times, so it’s mutual).
I mean, yes, there’s much to be said for tact, but honesty is ultimately important (I still want to write a post on it). I suppose a balance of delicacy and brute honesty is ideal…but strive for truth over feelings.
Sugar-coating implies care, but honesty connotes respect.
Take home point: don’t cry because someone was being honest; thank them. Blunt honesty isn’t mean. Just tactless.
I just want to note that Amiri King is a disgusting piece of work that Dave watched for a long time on Facebook and my eyes rolled so far back into my head that I feared I may be permanently blind many times. He’s your basic right-wing, anti-women, anti-liberal silveRAYdo (no joke, that’s how he says it) driving ‘Murica loving asshat. So Dave, pretty much, but more popular and with an accent…and without an educated girlfriend (I assume, or else I pity her) to whip his ass into somewhat respectable shape.
Also, the connection to that image is that conservatives like Dave were calling me mean and telling me to be nicer when I tell them they’re wrong.
But let’s continue.
My anti-women female friend above posted this one (as well as a few more in this list):
Oy. One, times are different, and so is the motivation. This is talking about illegal immigrants, while I believe Trump is talking about any immigrants (from certain countries) entering the US (regardless of visa and whatnot — hence PhD’s not allowed to re-enter after a conference, for example).
These are different issues. Illegal aliens and immigration (and returning to the country you’re working or studying in) are different things, but typical ignorant conservatives lump them together.
But yes, dems (i.e. liberals) are evil because they care about others.
More posted by her:
Obviously she (and her kind) oversimplify and take things out of context, because:
- Zombies are obviously bad and would not be given rights, because they only serve to harm humans. Sure animals have rights but we still hunt them. So this is dumb…dumber than zombie fanatics (and this woman watches The Walking Dead).
- It’s not so simple as Trump saying something and a large group of people immediately and instinctively believing he feels the opposite way. We’re not talking about conservatives, after all. If Trump feels a certain way, he provides plenty of evidence (usually via tweets). Obviously you don’t understand the implications of Trump’s actions, nor do you understand basic logical flow. When someone (like Trump) makes lots of anti-Muslim comments and then stops immigration from predominately Muslim (but non business) countries, it says something. If he actually stopped immigration from terrorist countries (AKA our business partners) but not all Muslim countries, it would say something much different.
- If Obama had cured cancer, it wouldn’t count because he’s a socialist Muslim from Kenya. Just saying. Also, Trump would never cure cancer because SCIENCE = BAD (believe it or not, the EPA is part of evil science).
- This is another example of the dumbshits protesting…protesting? Except it’s from their couch because they won’t get off their asses to actually protest. It’s easy to be critical from the safety of your own home, asshats. Grow a pair and actually get out there.
Oh wait, your precious conservatives aren’t protesting? It’s not because you’re better or right; it’s because you don’t care enough and you’re too fucking lazy. You’d rather bitch on social media all day.
Quit criticizing protesters for actually doing something. You want to say something? Try having a voice rather than being a dumb bitch on Facebook.
Which is totally not what I’m doing, by the way.
Anybody can share a picture created by someone else. I use those pictures to create something larger, and my goal is to call out bullshit and educate people, not just put them down.
Okay, two more:
Muslim pirates. Again, this was long ago and obviously you’re not a Christian if you oppose immigrants and refugees so much.
And this one from a while ago:
Times have changed. If you’re too stupid to realize this then stay off the Facebook.
Also, let’s be honest, Catholics have done lots of questionable things. The Crusades, going after Galileo, and so on.
Actually Pope Francis just recently said that we should accept the big bang and evolution. Hooray! (I love this guy.)
I know I said history matters and also said “times were different,” but an intelligent person can tell the difference. I, as a Catholic, accept all people (except stupid ignorant ones). Hitler accepted few, and many Americans today accept fewer and fewer. I would never persecute someone based on religion or anything else (again, except the ignorant), but many people in America today would. And that scares me.
First, there’s an “Extremely Pissed Off RIGHT Wingers 2”???
One, are you worried your supporters can’t read and had to capitalize the “right” bit? And why did you tag yourself in your post?
Also, there’s a right wingers 2? Like was one not enough??? Bloody hell.
Why are you extremely pissed off? Do you think you’re any more pissed off than people on the left?
But let’s get to the actual message. That’s not what he said. We already had a vetting process in order. People did come over legally. Sure, people came illegally, but the economy (in some places) collapsed when illegal workers were sent away (http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/undocumented-workers-immigration-alabama).
What Trump said was that people from certain, non-business-partner-majority-Muslim countries couldn’t come in (or come back if they left). That’s quite a bit different.
It’s hard for me to understand posts like this because my mind isn’t so simplistic and black-and-white as the poster’s. I understand not all Muslims are evil and blocking non-threatening countries isn’t the answer.
But onto veterans…
We’ve had the money. We’ve had it for some time. Your hero Trump has had the money — for a long time. He could’ve helped vets for some time now — but instead he spent it on a campaign and wants to spend it on a wall.
Hell, Trump wants us to pay for a wall…when a good chunk of us enjoy Mexican food and don’t want a wall.
What’s most stupid, though, is that I’m sure Trump has the financial capability to build a wall if he wanted but he won’t pay for it.
On another note, he could certainly start a charity for homeless vets.
Anyway, the wall is stupid on his part but like, how much more stupid is it on his voters’ parts?
Oh, and this. I hate these posts.
Nobody is offended by this. Like who the hell would be? Yet I see things like this shared over and over again in protest like they’re making some big important statement. Nah brah, it’s just about the shares. I guarantee it.
Also, *you’re. This is America. Speak (proper) English!
I’m kidding — I like cultural heterogeneity. But I’m not kidding that you should learn English grammar and spelling.
This was big for a while too — Trumpkins (just saw that term today) were all gung-ho on seeing a ton of celebrities leave the country after Trump won. Sigh. Do they not understand hyperbole? Overstatement? Exaggeration? (They should with all of Trump’s rhetoric. Or maybe their applause of his speech is a sign they don’t get it?) It didn’t mean they were actually going to do it, but it was an expression of how much they didn’t want Trump in charge. Kind of like how I throw my hands up in the air sometimes and say
ayooo “I just CAN’T do data analysis anymore! If I look at ONE MORE microtubule I’m going to cry!” before returning to analyzing my data for another half hour. Again, Trump supporters should understand that people (like Trump) don’t always mean what they say. I hope.
But instead they want to be petty and antagonize people who get paid a lot more than they do and who live much nicer lives than they do. Yeah, who are the real losers here?
Yep, take a bad picture of Obama and slap some “facts” on there to make him look bad and conservatives will eat that shit up. It’s like there’s zero critical thought like, “Oh but there are also positives. This is obviously biased.”
Well of course there isn’t. If people could think critically I wouldn’t be writing this post and Trump wouldn’t be president.
But like what is the thought process here? “Yes, I hate Obama and these statements, of which I have no clue as to the veracity, support my preconceived and ill-informed beliefs, so automatically I agree and will discount any possibly positive thing done by Obama in the last eight years because obviously there was nothing and I’m going to share this because fuck liberals.”
Are people actually this stupid?
Can we stop them from breeding?
Speaking of which…
This is also obviously oversimplifying the issues.
Dave’s crazy uncle shared this one, and rather than get into a Facebook argument (see my next point), I shared it and blocked him from seeing it. I captioned it something like, “Okay men you try pregnancy and giving birth.”
Really. Yes, a baby is technically another body, but it’s attached to the mother and inside the mother and is mooching off the mother, kind of like a parasite.
And if you really want to get technical, if that baby is a female, then it is a woman’s body. An immature one, but one nonetheless.
Anyway, I’m not advocating abortion, but I have to point out the faulty logic here. A woman is committed to growing this mini human for nine months. I’ve never been pregnant, but it doesn’t look or sound fun. (My aunt once said she liked being pregnant because it meant nine months without her period; I’ll take the monthly bleeding, thanks.) Furthermore, while the expecting mother may have a supportive man/partner by her side, many don’t, and so raising a child may be a financial or time or other burden that they can’t handle. It’s further irritating that a man isn’t tied to the child he created any longer than the act of procreation lasts, if you want to be pessimistic.
So in many ways, pregnancy, birth, and child-rearing are huge responsibilities and commitments for women, so taking them on should be a choice. The above argument is especially irritating because a man can hit-it-and-quit-it without having to really be involved or even present. I used to think the father should have a say, but that’s all it should be — a say. An opinion expressed. It’s ultimately the mother’s choice.
Is abortion fair to the baby, who didn’t ask to be conceived? Of course not. But that’s another issue.
It’s also unfair to force women to have children they didn’t necessarily want or can’t care for. Sure, there’s adoption, but the women still has to endure pregnancy and birth.
So yes, for the sake of argument, that baby is another human and is distinct from the mother, but for a long time (up to 18 years?) it’s a burden on the mother.
That may sound awful, but so was the argument in that post.
Take home point: don’t oversimplify issues; it may sound like a clever jab, but to any educated person it just makes you look ignorant and spiteful.
Why People Walk Away from Arguments
No, you didn’t “win.”
Here is me half the time with idiots:
And this is me the other half the time:
When (smart) people walk away from arguments, it’s because the stupid is too much and not worth their time. They have better things to do.
This, of course, leads the stupid person to think they won.
When stupid people walk away, it’s usually in a huff because they can no longer hold their own and would rather be seen as angry than defeated.
But they’re actually defeated.
But of course, everyone thinks they’re the “right” one in an argument. Or debate, whatever.
Debates in real life are one thing, but debates on Facebook can become all-consuming.
You have time to think before you reply. You can do “research.” You can post sources. Your friends can rally behind you with likes and supportive comments. You don’t have to deal with the person face to face. Most of all, though, it’s an argument on the internet, where everybody thinks they’re right and won’t stop until the world knows. There’s something unique about the fervor of an internet argument.
One community of people will read the comments and realize who actually has the better, more well-reasoned (and articulated) argument, the better researched position, and will agree that the other person is an assclown. Another community, though, will call the other person a socialist and walk away feeling smug that they put a liberal in their place.
The sad, and perhaps scary, thing about debates, particularly internet ones, is that neither side is ever going to budge. The ignorant argument will obviously never impress the educated one, and the educated one will never sway the ignorant one.
This means that there’s a large population of idiots out there who are never going to think for even a second that they’re wrong. Everybody else is just a dumb liberal.
The smartest people realize this and don’t even engage, or at least walk away to do better things with their lives. They don’t give up; they just don’t see the point. It’s not worth their valuable, smart-person time.
And honestly, that’s winning, at least in my book. You tried, but you really have research/a good job/actual responsibilities/a real life/nobler pursuits to get back to. You can do more with your time. You have more important things to do.
So let the dumbasses yell on Facebook. I guess. It’s annoying, sure, but I don’t think even pelting them with rocks with shut them up.
How do you know which side you’re on? Are you calling names or being called names? Are you arguing based off hear-say and personal anecdotes and things you just know are true, or are you drawing from reliable sources? Are you grasping at straws (or straw man arguments) and trying to loosely connect things that don’t really follow, or are you spotting and deconstructing logical fallacies?
If you said yes to the former is all those, you’re the idiot loser. Sorry not sorry. If you said yes to the latter, then you’re the smart one. Congrats.
Take home point: not all debates are worth your time, and walking away doesn’t mean you lost and they won. You’ll likely not win, but you’ll lose a whole lot of time.
Beware of Stupid in Large Groups
Just because a lot of dumbasses rally together doesn’t mean they’re right or even have a valid point.
It just means you have a lot of stupid concentrated in one place, or behind one issue.
But I’ll be damned if large groups of people can’t effect change. They changed our country from a somewhat-respectable nation into a laughing stock.
See, rallies and protests do work.
I don’t really have much more to say here except that a lot of support doesn’t make something right. And stupid is never right.
I guess that’s the take home point. Form your own, larger group of intelligence and beat their asses down.
All Opinions Are Not Equal
I saved this one for last because it bothers me a lot, if not the most.
I’ve seen a lot of posts on Facebook with things like “Bob and Sally” being friends even though their opinions differ, or how two people can see the same thing two different ways…
Those are basically my thoughts on that, but I can’t entirely let memes and pictures write my blog for me.Okay, that was the last one. It’s all me from here on out.
“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion” is a bullshit cop-out when someone doesn’t want to argue anymore. Sure, it may be true in some cases, but that doesn’t change what it is.
An “opinion”, as said above but I’m restating it here, is applicable in matters of moderate importance at most: what kind of music is best, where to eat, the nicest way to spend a weekend…
Sure, you can argue over these things, but ultimately it’s just an opinion and who the fuck cares.
Political, religious, and moral views are not opinions. They are forces that shape you and your life. An opinion may come from a habit, but your views create the habit.
Your religious outlook tells you to attend church every Sunday, and your morality tells you that you should visit your ailing grandparents regularly. So your opinion of what a Sunday should be is Church then brunch with your grandparents.
Your political style tells you that you need to be out there protesting, and your religious outlook tells you that gay marriage is bad and so is abortion. So your idea of an ideal Sunday is standing outside of Planned Parenthood and shouting at gay people.
Does that make sense?
Here’s another way to think about it: your opinions really affect only you; your views are what you communicate to others, whether through conversation, criticism, protest, and so on.
Example: My opinion is that pinot grigio and pinot noir are the best wines. Also my opinion: drinking helps me unwind. My religious view: I am ultimately going to be judged by God and so I should be a good person. Also getting drunk is bad (not that this really affects me much).
Or my opinion: Hiking is the best way to spend a nice summer day. My scientific/moral view: we need to protect the environment…so I can keep hiking.
Anyway, neither your views nor your opinion are necessarily right, nor do they have to be respected.
I always think it’s amusing when conservatives tear apart liberals, yet feel like their opinions are sacred and untouchable. No bitch, you’re as vulnerable as anyone else.
So nobody is safe.
So stop with this bullshit that you’re entitled to your opinion and it’s just a difference of opinion and I can’t judge you and there are multiple ways to see the same issue.
As in math, there’s only one right answer — though perhaps there are many ways to get there. But ultimately, you’re either right or you’re wrong — and there’s no partial credit.
Your opinion is not necessarily as good or valuable as someone else’s. I’m not going to listen to the thoughts of a landscaper when I want to know if my scoping results mean what I think they mean or if something went wrong in my experiment.
When you think about it (and the key is that you have think), it makes sense that not all opinions carry equal weight.
Take home point: your opinion is not necessarily important, and opinions are not the same as views. Also, your views probably don’t matter to many people.
So there we have it, a bunch of things that needed to be laid out and settled. Maybe now we can get on with our lives and not be such fucking idiots?
Okay, the real last one.